October, 2008

My Bestfriend, Jackie

Going back to my childhood memories, I caught a glimpse of a tiny dog whose very dear to me. Its name is Jackie, a male dog with brown and expressive eyes, thin body, brown and white fur, and a very long tail which never failed to wag every time it sees me.

Jackie was brought to us by our father who found it on his way home. My father pitied the dog and without having second thoughts brought Jackie home. At the very first sight of it, I was really overjoyed. Such cute little puppy curled in the big hands of my father. Jackie was very playful, run tirelessly around one person, and refused to get away from a person unless he played or hugged Jackie. I really don’t know how a dog brought more joy and happiness in our home.

But then one accident happened. A little boy was passing by our house when he saw Jackie and decided to make fun of it. The dog, with short patience, bit him. The little boy was sick for many days after that incident and we were obliged to pay for the little boy’s needs. Then my father angrily tied Jackie outside our house, where the kitchen and the comfort room is near. Since then, members of the family hated Jackie except me. While they were always hurting Jackie, I in opposite took very good care of it, but of course without the knowledge of my parents because for sure they would likely hate me too.

At that time, I am only a graduating elementary student. Because I hated my parents, I always rely my problems to Jackie, who listened to my cries and grievances attentively, who comforted me by being patient and joyful evenness’s he is tied, and most specially by accepting me for who I am. Such moments with Jackie I will never forget. And due to the lack of attention of my family, Jackie got thinner and thinner each day.

Then one day, my family decided to kill Jackie. Such decision really broke my heart. It really felt like hell because, your bestfriend would be killed by some selfish persons! Aaagh! I remembered before he was killed, I cried and cried unto him, gave him my soothing words, made a promise that I will never forget him, and told him that when he sees God go to Him and tell Him that I love Him very much, especially for giving Jackie unto my life. It was really a heartbreaking moment. My heart at that time is very furious and angry with my parents, my grandparents, and my other neighbours. I did not look when they killed him. I was at that time crying in the house of my neighbours. My crying got worst when I heard that Jackie is to be cooked. In my young mind, those who killed Jackie were all evils.

And so, after that heartbreaking and nervecracking moment, I vowed to myself never to be involved with a dog or any animal again. But that vow never came true, for another brown puppy named Jepoy with green eyes came. In my mind, I reasoned out that maybe it’s a consolation dog for me in exchange of Jackie.

Wherever I am, I always believed that “dogs are man’s bestfriend” because of my experience. Even if it’s just a little dog, it brings abundant joy to you and, I tell you, dogs will never leave you in times of your struggle.

To my bestfriend Jackie, I know you are enjoying right now in that beautiful garden, I hope that soon, we will have to play again just like old times. See you soon!

..in memory of my bestfriend…

v

Seeing Each Other Again

We were eating snacks when my highschool bestfriend suddenly said, “Angel, do you ever wonder what our life will be after we graduate in this institution?” I paused, not knowing for amoment what to say to her. Then I answered, “No, Ives, as far as I am concerned, only God knows what we will become in the near future.” But she insisted, “If that is so, then is it possible that we will never see each other again?” I nodded, but with hurt in my eyes which I cannot hide.

Graduation time came, the school was flocked of students who are candidates for graduation, teachers, parents, relatives, friends, influential people in our city, and spectators from various places. But we did not mind them. The only thing that prevailed on our minds was to treasure and make use of our last day in high school. We were like crazy people at that time. Amidst the huge crowd, we hugged, embraced, and kissed each other goodbyes with additional promises that made our hearts heavy. Nevertheless, we did not cry. We promised to ourselves never to cry in front of our dear alma mater, because for us, such act only implies the possibility of not coming back. One dear friend approached, hugged and said to me, “Angel, shall I see you again?” I quickly answered him, “Of course, you will”, but with a little doubt in my voice. After hearing my response and the tone in my voice, he hugged me once again, and said in parting words, “Remember me always.” Understanding his message, I nearly cried but I didn’t dare because I was very aware that almost all of us graduate students were helding back the tears for the sake of our dear alma mater. Then more schoolmates and friends approached me and asked me the same thing and I answered them all the same. Graduation, I realized, is a joyous, at the same time, a hurtful event in my life.

Now I am in the present. Everyday I strive to what I want to be in the future. Memories of my past and the question “Shall I see you again?” kept tingling in my head. But as I have said to my bestfriend, “only God knows what we will become in the near future,” and that includes the reality if the Lord grants us the chance to see each other again, or maybe, not. Who knows?

“The God of Small Things” : Book Review

..this was my book review for “the god of small things” authored by Arundhati Roy., it’s kinda difficult to analyze the book.., it has many twists and the life of the twins were difficult to suppress.., but later., maybe after 4 repetition readings of this book, you’ll realize it’s deeper meaning.., the way how the author clearly manifests her idea especially in the fields of Caste System, Christianity, and Communism in India.., it’s really a very interesting book., please read this book and share with me the beauty and mysteries, together with Estha and Rahel, whose destiny is as surprising as the the book itself…




The God of Small Things : Analysis

“The Antly Church would be empty and the Antly Bishop would wait in his funny Antly Bishop clothes, swinging Frankincense in a silver pot. And nobody would arrive.

After he had waited for a reasonably Antly amount of time, he would get a funny Antly Bishop Frown on his forehead, and shake his head sadly. He would look at the glowing Antly stained-glass windows and when he finished looking at them, he would lock the church with an enormous key and make it dark. Then he’d go home to his wife, and (if she wasn’t dead) they’d have an Antly Afternoon Gnap.” (p. 176)

 

It’s hard to define Life. Many professional writers and other fields tried to. But nevertheless, they failed. They generally missed something. Something that is very important. And that something is the person itself. The person is Life itself. One cannot exist without the other. Problems and all other happenings are just colors of Life. These colors contribute to the success and loss of Life as well as the development of the Person or the Beholder of Life.

‘The God of Small Things’ is a perfect example for us to fully understand Life contributed by lonely and bad aspects. Arundhati Roy, who is the author, is a genius for creating such novel despite India’s current turmoil. Through this novel, the underlying pressing issues in India are tackled in a magnificent yet mysterious way which is also the contributing factor for Arundhati Roy to be imprisoned one year after winning the famous Booker Prize. Such a book which was one of the cause of the imprisonment of its author is truly a must read and must reflect book.

In the novel, Estha and Rahel are twins. They never think of themselves individually. They have an unusual behaviour which their mother herself cannot understand.

“…Esthappen and Rahel thought of themselves together as Me, and separately, individually, as We or Us. As though they were a rare breed of Siamese twins, physically separate, but with joint identities.” (p. 4-5)

Their mother Ammu, met their father Baba, in Calcutta. After their marriage, they move to Assam. Ammu was 8 months pregnant when war broke out with China in October 1962. Ammu was too pregnant to travel that’s why she remained and later in November she bore twins in a bus ride to a hospital in Shillong. Baba at that time is drunk. He is also extremely happy with his tea-estate business. When the twins were 2 years old, Baba’s drinking got worse. Mr. Hollick, English manager of Baba, and upon seeing the opportunity, promised Baba his job if he went on a vacation and agree that he will “look after” Ammu while he was away. Due to this, they quarreled, and eventually separated. Ammu went back to Ayemenem, a place in Kerala southernmost tip of India, her hometown. She told Papachi, her father, what had happened but Papachi did not believe Ammu because for him, there’s no such Englishman who will covet another man’s wife.

The twins being 2 years old had already seen the harshness of life. Their father is working under a British gentleman. British! Remember the colonization of the British Empire in India. Though the English claim that their colonization were for trading purposes only, they cannot deny the deep marks and damage that they had left in India’s culture, including the people’s behavior and values. Their colonization had brought up something which until now the Indian people lurks inside their being. Joseph Conrad coined India as the “Heart of Darkness” symbolizing India as a place that can be said to be “far from civilization” with the English colonization as if it was bringing India to the world which perhaps because the English is one of the most influential culture in the world. But Brians (1998) described it to be: “Whereas in Conrad’s famous novel the heart of darkness was symbolized as by its distance from Europe, (and) here it is the European-style intrusion into the Indian landscape that creates darkness.” This means that, if not for the intervention of the British colonization in India, it would have been as powerful and bountiful as Japan in terms of economic development and the rich cultures could have been continued together with the values, customs, and India’s traditions. Mr. Hollick is the symbol of a ruthless English oppressing India in a subtle but fraud way while Ammu’s father, Papachi is the symbol of those Indian people blinded by the sweet yet poisonous promises of the British.

Living in Ayemenem, when Sophie Mol the twins’ English cousin had not arrived yet, is as simple and joyous to the twins. There they showed their vulnerability in terms of love and their excitement in the not yet dangerous life. They find many glorious times with each other as well as their mother Ammu in the Ayemenem House, their house in Ayemenem, Kerala. Members of the household include Mamachi, Papachi, Chacko, Baby Kochamma, and Kochu Maria. Mamachi or “grandmother”, whose real name is Shoshamma Ipe, is the blind grandmother of the twins, the mother of Chacko and Ammu. She started making Pickles commercially and paved the way for the establishment of ‘Paradise Pickles and Preserves’, considered a company featuring Mamachi’s famous banana jams and tender mango pickle. Papachi or “grandfather” whose real name was Shri Benaan John Ipe is a retiree from a government service in Delhi. Every night, Papachi beat Mamachi with a brass flower vase. He was jealous of her because of her prospering business and her being young. Another contribution for his rage is his Moth. In his earlier days, when he was still an entomologist, he discovered an unusual moth, expecting that the moth be named after him, to his disappointment, the moth was named after the Acting Director of the Department of Entomology (Papachi’s rival), for the reason that he was now retired. The beating stop when Chacko saw what was constantly happening every night between his father and mother. Later, Papachi died of a massive heart attack. After that, Mamachi clung to Chacko as if her world would tear apart if she is separated with him. The breakup of Chacko’s marriage with Margaret Kochamma brought a great joy as well as sorrow in her heart. Joy because Chacko will permanently be with her and sorrow for seeing constantly the pain in Chacko’s eyes. This feeling of a mother towards her son amazed me. It’s as if Mamachi had developed selfishness for her son. Maybe the resentment of her husband had brought up that feeling.

Looking towards Ammu and Mamachi’s situations, they serve as the symbol of how women are treated in India. They are being handled like just simple things capable of few knowledge and skills. Ammu’s situation goes like this. The reason why she was married in Delhi was because she asked her strict father for a vacation in Delhi in her aunt’s house. She was wary because her debut had passed but still no suitors arrived. She was not even allowed to go to school. Mamachi on the other hand served as the symbol of constantly being abused women in India. Her experience with her husband served as an example.

Another member of the Ayemenem House is Baby Kochamma. Baby Kochamma is the sister of Papachi which makes her as the grandaunt of the twins. Back in her younger days, Baby Kochamma fell in love with a Catholic priest named Fr. Mulligan. Due to her obsession, she became a Catholic and eventually a nun in following Fr. Mulligan. But she grew distressed in the convent upon learning all the sacrifices she had to give up and the knowledge that even in the convent, seeing Fr. Mulligan was also impossible. So she quitted. After the convent she goes to school and graduated with a certificate for landscaping. The 1st 6 months in Ayemenem, she turned to her work in the garden as her solace and because of her artistic talents; her garden and landscaping were known and eventually became a tourist spot. But after that, she grew tired of her work and later turned her attention together with Kochu Maria to the television where they can find all sorts of information and entertainment they need from all over the world. Her obsession in the television was worse than in her landscaping. Kochu Maria hated the twins because she was jealous of their affection to each other.

Chacko is Ammu’s brother. He was married once with Margaret Kochamma, an English but is now a divorced man. He had a child with her named Sophie Mol. He busied himself in Ayemenem supervising ‘Paradise Pickles and Preserves’. He was an adorable and kind man in his factory, that’s why, Comrade Pillai, owner of the printing press in Ayemenem and leader of the Communist Party, does not attack him directly for fear of losing his client.

Kochu Maria is the household helper of the Ayemenem House. She is very conscious of her illiteracy which she feels the twins were using against her. She usually holds grudges against the twins. She is the partner of Baby Kochamma in terms of addiction to television. She wore big earrings which symbolizes her proud state, claiming that even if she is only a helper, still she does not belong to the Paravan’s state. A Paravan is also called an ‘Untouchable’.

The way how the novel conveys the family ties is evoking. Each member holds a secret and has its own silence in their inner self. If revealed, turmoil in the family would surely prevail. They are relatives but the way they are acting to each other is neighborly-like, except for Chacko and Mamachi’s relationship. Ammu was also not considered important because of her status as divorced and it is very unlikely for a woman to be divorced.

When Margaret Kochamma’s new husband, died, Margaret accepted the comfort Chacko was offering. She and her daughter fled to India. The Day Sophie Mol Arrived is a very significant day for the twins. It serves as the turning point of their lives. One day before that day, they go to a cinema and Estha first experienced fear. While he was inside the cinema, he wanted to sing but Ammu forbid him so he went out and there sing in the hallway next to a store of candies and drinks. The man managing that store saw and invites Estha to him for a free drink. Estha obliged. But instead of sweet orangelemon drink, the man also added his penis. While drinking, the OrangeLemon Drink man as he was later called made Estha curl his fingers around that big bully’s private area and made him work with his hands until Estha could see and feel some sticky egg-white liquid in his hands. That was Estha’s first experience with Fear. It is such a disgusting act for Estha to do it. It is clearly manifested in this context that not only do women were being abused sexually but also children. It’s such a pity knowing those children having fear like that. For sure, there are many of them in India who are helpless in that way. Instead of feeling the joy as a child, they are feeling hell in the hands of those people who abused them.

Another incident also happened before the day Sophie Mol arrived, while they were on their way to the hotel, Rahel saw Velutha among the angry students rallying in the streets for Communist Party. Velutha is their Paravan carpenter worker in the ‘Paradise Pickles and Preserves’ factory. Though a Paravan, he was the closest friend of the twins. Together with Velutha on the streets were some youths of different classes. Touchables and Untouchables mixed for a common purpose. There are 2 prevailing parties in India, the Communist Party and the Marxist Communist Party. The Communist Party is the party which cares and strictly abides with the Hindu custom of Caste. While the Marxist Communist Party is the party for which all the classes in the Caste will be dissolved for better social relations among India’s people. The latter is what Velutha’s fighting for. But Rahel, seeing the expressions on the face of Baby Kochamma, Chacko, and Ammu, denied that she saw Velutha when asked the second time if that man is really Velutha. Baby Kochamma is muttering some kind of worry over the factory if the workers would rally against them. Chacko is bewildered, while Ammu’s face is grim. At this time, there are many workers who are waging against the government and the class system. It is evident and probably worth the record that some Touchables joined this rally. It clearly states that more and more Touchables were able to understand the meanness of the Caste System.

The Day Sophie Mol Arrived is a significant event.

Thimble-drinker.

Coffin-cartwheeler.

She walked down the runway, the smell of London in her hair. Yellow bottoms of bells flapped backwards around her ankles. Long hair floated out from under her straw hat. One hand in her mother’s. The other swinging like a soldier’s (lef, lef, lefrightlef).” (p.135)

Sophie Mol as described in the novel was loved from the very beginning. Maybe it must be because she was the most obvious “symbol” of English influence. She is like the epitome of all things European, from the way she wore and the way she mingled to the family in Ayemenem. As if she was an English conqueror, trying to show everyone how they do in their country, starting with the style of clothes compared to the twin’s clothes. It is interesting how Sophie Mol easily drew attention from the people around her. It is natural for Chacko to treat Sophie Mol the way he likes because he was just trying to show a fatherly-love to her. Others like Baby Kochamma and Kochu Maria are behaving such on Sophie Mol as if they are getting something in return or basically just amazed of a foreigner in the family. Whatever that goes against Sophie Mol was simply blamed on the twins, or sometimes at Ammu.

The Day Sophie Mol Arrived is also the beginning of what seem as dangerous and highly immoral love affair of Ammu and Velutha. It is a love affair that is highly unethical and may cause both of them to trouble which may lead to one of them being dead in consequence to their dangerous relationship. But despite the odds, Ammu and Velutha seemed to be trying to defy the Indian traditions. The colonization of the British Empire left an effect on them, making themselves free from the Indian culture that has bounded them.

After several days, the corpse of Sophie Mol was found floating in the river by a fisherman. Estha, Rahel and Ammu were blamed. It brought the totality of grief among the household members of Ayemenem. Another contribution to the confusion is also the finding of the secret love affair between Ammu and Velutha. To this, one person is happy, who is Baby Kochamma.

Velutha was mercilessly killed by the police officers, with the help of Estha. Estha was made to say ‘yes’ in every question that the police ask of him through the instruction of Baby Kochamma.

After these incidents, Estha and Rahel were separated, Estha to his father, Baba and Rahel to her mother, Ammu. After several years, Estha was re-Returned to Ayemenem, not speaking to anybody. Rahel on the other hand had married in New York but later divorced.

Now they were 31 years old, not old, not young, but according to Roy, “a viable-diable age.” Eventhough Rahel did not told Esthappen neither do Baby Kochamma, Estha knew that Rahel is coming home. “Other half” could be a way of calling their twin counterpart, because of course, they’re twins.

One may ask, why is the novel entitled “The God of Small Things”? For me, the small things represent all the simple things that go on around us. They are the simple things that are usually overlooked and forgotten most of the time, by how people live with big things in their lives. Some people won’t ever consider the littlest of details because they believe that “there are bigger things in life”.

Velutha was the one that was always cited as the go that is described in the title.

“The God of Loss.

The God of Small Things.

The God of Goosebumps and Sudden Smiles.” (p. 31)

He must have felt those small things. Despite the racial oppression of the society to them, he still found life in the form of Ammu, the twins and their family. The twins must have seen it too. It is those small things that made themselves closer to each other, and are able to change lives.

 

Works Cited:

The God of Small Things, Arundhati Roy, HARPER PERRENNIAL, New York, 19

http://www.anan.to/india/caste.html

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/06/0602_030602_untouchables.html

http://library.thinkquest.org/11372/data/religion.html

India’s Changing Villages; Human Factors in Community Development, S.C. Dube, Routledge and Regan Paul Ltd., London, 1958

Development for Free Asia, Maurice Zinkin, CHATTO AND WINDUS, 1963, London

Caressing Hand

Tears glistening, streaming down my cheeks

Hope still flickering, but like a small drop of water

Challenges are burden, frown and sorrow it will bring

Tell me, who will save me from here?…

Running out of luck, feels like all alone

Joy and happiness, where are you?

Fill this emptiness I can’t bear

Tell me, who will save me from here?…

Friends are diminishing, no one to talk to

Prayers are what is left, holding on

as if your life depends on it,

Struggles are useless if the world

is against you,

Tell me, who will save me from here?…

Oh, Caressing Hand!

I beg your mercy, your kindness, and compassion…

Grant me eternal peace I can’t find in this place!

Please, oh please, save me from here……

I made this poem when I was very frustrated with my life… Pressure in school and pressure in my family is the number 1 reason of my being frustrated… even my friends turn their back on me… and so I was left with no choice but to calm myself through prayers because I believe God is always with us…. He will never forsake us!

10/02/08 ; 11:35pm - my 17th birthday!